One Relentless Life

Relentless Forward Motion

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My Old Friend, Self-Doubt

It will all end at some point. Whether that be on a nice sunny day with a tail wind and everything going right, or on a stormy depressed day with a head wind beating you physically and mentally. It will all end. So when shit is going good, I like to remember to soak in the love and share it. When things are going bad, I try to remember that it can’t last forever. No storm has ever raged forever. No mountain I have climbed on foot or bike has went forever upward. Eventually, it heads back down again.

During the climbs or tough times, I go into my suffering hole and relax with my good old friend Self-Doubt. I’ve come to terms with this old companion of mine. He lies to me. He makes me feel bad. He makes it so I never want to go on living or leaving my couch. The thing is, I now know deep down inside of myself, that he’s lying. Suffering will go away and I will bounce back. So that lying son of a bitch, Self-Doubt, can hang out as long as he wants. Hell, I’ll pour him a drink and make him comfortable too. I know that I will outlast him. I am fucking relentless. I will never surrender. Sure, there are moments where I find myself shocked by Self-Doubt’s presence, but then I shake it off, relax and wait for the next sweet ass deal that life has in store for me.

I’ve been in some really dark places in my life, but do you want to know something neat? None of them lasted. One of these spots even lasted years, but you know what? It’s over. I’m not worried about being sad again. Bring that shit on. I will never set a goal of being happy all of the time. I will instead work on trying to keep the valleys as shallow as possible and get through them as quick as possible. At some point in your life, you are going to feel like a piece of shit. You’ll feel like everything you’ve done has been the wrong choice. Just remember that if you relax and keep moving without dwelling, it will pass. Unless you are a shitty person to everyone and in everything you do. If that’s the case, then get down to sorting that out first. That’s what I had to do.  Am I perfect? No.

But I am relentless,  even when I’m hanging with Self-Doubt

Be Uncomfortable

If I continually did things that I was certain to finish, I would be unfulfilled because I wouldn’t be growing. I like the nervousness I feel when trying something new or facing an unfamiliar challenge.

I like having a big race hanging over my head. There are a few things that might happen; either I’ll push myself to new heights to be better prepared for the race, or when the race starts I will have to fight to sort it out as I go. Maybe both.

Either way I’m pushing to become a better person. If I fail, which happens a lot more than people like to believe, then I will learn from it. Where did things break down? Was it mental, physical, or was I short sited in something? Did I go into the race unprepared? Regardless, I will learn and grow.

I like that. I want to grow. I never want to settle for good enough. If I am successful, I like to take a moment to celebrate my accomplishment and then get right back at it, humbled. I have had people call me arrogant but I will be the first person to tell you that I’m not unique in my abilities or my drive. I am not special. My life has no more value than anyone else’s, I just want to get as much out of my life as possible, which might be the only difference. I want to look back on my life and tell the stories with the adventures sounding like the far-fetched dreams of a rambling mad man. If someone says that I am nuts for everything I am trying to achieve, then I’m getting where I need to be. I would much rather be outside the circle of normal and have people point me out as a person who has tried too many things and failed at all of them, than be one of the people that sit in the comfort being average and do the laughing.

I have DARE MIGHTY THINGS tattooed on my arm for a reason. It is a constant reminder to me that I would much rather be the laughing stock who tried to become everything possible with my life, than the person that gets to the end of my life and thinks “Fuck, I wish I had one more day.” Whenever the end of my life may come, I am ready for it. I am going balls to the wall right now chasing my dreams. The number of successes and failures I have is irrelevant. What matters to me is that I am going for it.

Dare mighty things.

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A Little Bit, a Lot of Times

Everyone gets carried away with giant dreams and goals. You want to be debt free, travel the whole world, have six pack abs, remodel your house, and have all new gear. You write out the goals and then schedule out a balls to the wall plan. You calculate everything down to the hour and the penny. You are going to be Zen in months. Maybe weeks. Better yet, hours!

On Monday morning you wake up hard charging for the goals. You tell your friends and family. You have this shit all figured out. When you lay down for bed that night, you are full of pride and accomplishment. People shouldn’t get paid to help you do any of these things. You just set your plan and get after it. Easy.

Then Friday rolls around. You have given yourself an allowance of $3 per week, you have been eating nothing but veggies and “clean” foods. You decide to treat yourself to a pint on the way home. You deserve it. Goal crushing five days in a row now. After your pint, someone offers to buy you another round if you stay. There is a pizza coming out for the table, too. So you have another pint. It won’t hurt anything. Eat some pizza. You are enjoying yourself, so you decide,- screw it, what is $3 and a few calories more? When you go to bed, you’re pissed that you went over your budget on money and calories.

You wake up Saturday and remember that you missed your goals yesterday. SHIT! You eat junk all day and go out Saturday night. You already blew the budgets so why not. You can start again Monday.

On Monday morning you’re a little less motivated. The same scenario plays out with a little less drive this time around. Three weeks later and you’re back to your same old routine. No lasting changes.

This has happened to everyone. EVERYONE! The question is why? The answer is simple; you’re trying to cut a tree down with a single chop. It doesn’t work that way. Nothing does. We tend to overestimate what we can get done in six months to a year and underestimate what we can get done in five years. You can either give one big ole swing with the ax and declare your victory or defeat, or you could take a small swing at the tree every time you walk by. If you go with the small swing approach, you will expend little to no perceived effort and the tree will fall before you know it. Now let’s apply that to life.

If you want to lose 10 pounds, that is 35,000 calories. You can starve yourself for a week and lose the weight, just to gain it back, or you can slowly change your habits. If you were to eat a breakfast that is 100 calories lower, and keep all other food intake constant, you would lose that 10 pounds in a year. That’s it. One meal that is healthier. It’s easy and you will hardly feel the change. You would probably get used to it very quickly and not even notice it after a few weeks. You are not your best efforts, you are what you consistently do; you are the average of your actions.

Make small changes. Make those changes habit. Make more small changes. Your life will change before you know it. You won’t even see it until you look back at how far you’ve come.

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I am mentally lazy

I am a lazy piece of shit sometimes. If I look back at my failures I can assign one cause to almost all of them, and that’s my mental laziness.

I let the “I don’t want to” overcome my drive for success. I don’t want to be cold, I don’t want to wake up, I don’t want to take the pain anymore, I don’t want to look bad, I don’t want to what ever the fuck my excuse is. There have been a few times in my life when that voice has screamed in my head with everything it has got and I have overcome it. But not today my friend.

I know that it can be done. What I want is to make that repeatable at my will. Suffering and the voice urging me to quit are old friends of mine. I know that they’re lying to me to get me to take the comfortable route. I never want to be comfortable with where I am at, and I never want to be comfortable being average. I want my own personal greatness.

Just a few weeks ago, I had a 150 mile training ride to do. It was pouring rain and cold when I started. It continued on for six hours. More than a couple times, I started to talk myself out of staying the course and following my route. No one would know. I’ve been training hard and could use a recovery day… Blah blah bullshit, blah. I will also admit there were a couple times I stoppped. I stopped to be comfortable. Then I would remember, it can’t rain all of the time, all of this will end at some point, and if I want to be something great, I have to endure what brings me discomfort. If I want to be able to be proud of who and what I am, I have to embrace what makes me uncomfortable.

I have the American Trail Race coming up very soon. I’ve been training to make a race plan and have been making deals with myself. That is bullshit. I am going out there to learn about myself and see what I can do mentally and physically. I will sleep when I have to, not when I plan to. It will hurt. I will be sore and uncomfortable. That is fine. I just need to keep my damn head in the game. I want to dig a deep dark hole and be okay sitting in it until that storm passes.

As of right now, I can tell you that I am not where I want to be. I am not even close. If I ever get to where I want to be, it’s because I’m being lazy and settling for good enough. There is always more I can do, and I can always do better. I don’t want greatness, I want my own greatness. Mental laziness will only get in the way of that.

You want to know the good part of all this? Like I said, I can always do better. So can you.


The North Face Thermoball Hoodie

If you’ve followed me for any amount of time, I have no doubt that you’ve seen me in this jacket. It’s been all over the world, and has done almost everything I have. Racing, camping, giving presentations, bike commuting, lounging around.

North Face Thermoball Hoodie

More riding than lounging around, however.

But I have used this jacket to almost the end of its days, which is actually getting very close now. That makes me sort of sad. It has been absolutely solid for the last few years. I recently sat and thought about how many hours of use I’ve gotten out of my Thermoball, and if had to guess, it would easily be in the thousands. I just got a Patagonia Nano Puff Air Hoodie to replace it and it still feels like I am cheating. When I get ready to leave the house I hesitate before grabbing the Nano just because the Thermoball has been so good to me for so long.

North Face Thermoball Hoodie

Mine smells like campfire smoke. I recommend you treat yours similarly.

Like all things, the Thermoball isn’t perfect, but the only real down side I found is the breathability. It does collect moisture when you start building up a good sweat, or if you are using it as a layer inside your sleeping bag. That’s it! That’s the entire con list.

North Face Thermoball Hoodie

As I mentioned, it’s also good for lounging. It’s also good for holiday photo ops.

The good far outweighs the bad. It’s lightweight, packs down very small, keeps you warm, and it does a decent enough job at keeping the wind out (though it is not a shell, but nor is it advertised as such). The zippers on the pockets as well as the zip closure have never failed or gotten stuck. The hood has a nice fit for either under my bike helmet or without it. The waist tensioners have done a fantastic job at keeping the wind off my back and the snow out of my butt cheeks, which as you can imagine is pretty important. You can read all the technical specs on the jacket here, if you like.

North Face Thermoball Hoodie
Overall my vote is two thumbs up. If there weren’t new innovations to keep me dry while I’m working hard, while giving me a greater range of motion, I would without a doubt buy another Thermoball. The durability is hard to beat, that’s for sure!

If you’re looking for a great all-around jacket for outdoor activities that will also serve you well while traveling or even a trip to the bar, you’ll be hard pressed to find better than the North Face Thermoball Hoodie.

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Stop Reading My Articles

If you don’t feel like you’re gaining anything from reading my website, please stop reading it. I urge you to do something else with your time. Chase your happiness and passion.

We tend to look at the large chunks of time and money that we spend and are consciously aware of it. We have to go to work,  that’s eight hours, we have to pick up and drop off the kids from school and activities, that’s two more hours. That time is gone from your day to day life and you are very conscientious about it. We have to pay our mortgage, car payment, and medical bills. Those costs in time and money stare us in the face every day.

What we tend to overlook are the transition times and transition spending. If a dam were to break, the results would be catastrophic; these are our large unforeseen expenses. The bill comes in and you cringe. But we never take the time to realize that we spend just as much money on what I like to call transitional happiness. You really want to take a vacation to some far off destination, or put in a new patio for entertaining your friends, but you never seem to have the money.

However, if we went back and audited our spending, we would be surprise to see that we spend the cost of that vacation in micro transactions. Death by a thousand cuts. We have Amazon Prime accounts, Hulu accounts, NetFlix accounts, we buy a new pair of shoes every couple weeks, we go out to dinner with friends 2-3 times a week. Nothing is a large one time expense like the $1500 trip you want to take but, every month or two we are spending the cost of the trip on items that temporarily appease us. We slowly satiate ourselves into the tomorrow mentality;

“I will just buy this one thing today and tomorrow I will start saving.”

“It is winter now and the patio cannot be put in, so I will buy this TV for the Superbowl and in the spring time, I will save for the patio.”

These are just examples. In your case, the patio and vacation can be what ever your dream is.

The same concept goes to time. You know where the big chunks are going and they weigh on you like a tons of bricks. You dream of the time you can retire and how glorious it will be. You will have all the time in the world to purse your health, happiness, and you might even take up a few new hobbies. What you don’t notice is, YOU HAVE THE TIME RIGHT NOW! You are just burning it up in transitions and with the excuse, “If I find the time”.

First, let’s address having the time. You will never find the time. You have to schedule the things that are important to you and set the standard that you will not miss that appointment. If it is a priority, you will get it done. I like to ask people “How many times have you left your house without your pants on in the last year?” They look at me like I am crazy. You put pants on because it is a standard that you have set on which you will not budge. If you are going to be two minutes late for something, you could easily save those two minutes by not getting dressed after you get out of the shower. Just get dressed later when you find the time. But that will never happen. Because wearing pants is a priority.

Next, I would like to bring transition time wasters to your attention. I want you to write down every minute that you spend awake and how you spend them. If you are anything like me, I am productive somewhere around 11-12 hours a day. I sleep about 7-8 hours a day. That is twenty hours. Where is the other four hours a day going? I am glad you asked. If you are average, you watch five hours of television per day. The average person looks at social media websites an average of an hour and forty minutes a day. Next, the average person sends around sixty texts per day. Teenagers send more, people over 55 send less. You have to check your email account right? Checking and rechecking. Send out a message, receive a response, send another out, it turns into more text messages, just in a different account…

I try to be very observant of how I spend my time and I waste a ton out of habit. I get done with a task, and I pull out my smartphone. I check and respond to 5-8 text messages. They take a minute each. If I get a response right then, I respond again. I check my Instagram and respond to some notifications that I need to and then browse though the people I’m following. Then repeat on Facebook. Then email. Maybe a few more texts came in. I did this exact thing this morning, even though I’m well aware of the time drain. I just had a conversation over coffee about it a few hours before that. I was working on this article in my head. I knew it was coming and I fell right into the trap! Twenty two minutes had passed before I was ready to start my training for the day. When I was done training, I had to fight every urge in my body to do the same thing again. How many times a day are we trickling out 15-20 minutes? Do it once and you’ve spent enough time to read a chapter in a book. Twice? That’s enough time to run a 5k at a comfortable pace. When I audited my own time, I was doing this ten times a day or more. Even if it’s only five minutes at a time, I have spent a whole hour of my life just passing time in a single day.

So now, this is where I urge you to stop reading my website and following me on social media. If you’re getting a positive effect out of my content, I would love it if you continue to read, follow, email me to invite me to have a cup of coffee and so on. On the other hand, if you can honestly look at what I am providing and you get mad or you’re only consuming it to occupy your time, occupy it doing something else. GO ON GIT!

You and only you can end the slow trickle of your dreams escaping you and the tomorrow mentality. Chase your dreams.

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Rage Rocket of Love

I really don’t know what has been going on lately. I haven’t been super pumped up to train. I haven’t missed a training session, my lifts are going well, my rides are going well…

I just haven’t been digging on it.

I’ve been daydreaming of getting other things done. I’ll be lifting weights and in between sets I start thinking about the books I’m reading. I’ll be out riding and thinking about people who I would like to have coffee with.

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You Are an Average of Your Action: Thought of the Day

You are the average of everything you have done thus far in your life. All of your actions, meals, learning, friends, everything; blended into one.

Improve your average.

Improve your average.

It surprises me when people think that one single thing, good or bad, is going to change them forever. One cookie is not going to make you unhealthy, just like one salad is not going to make you healthy. You are an average of the food you consume. One workout is not going to get you in better shape, just like missing one is not going to knock you out of shape.

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Don’t Gamble That You Will Get Another Chance

Why wait for some other time to come when you will be able to follow your dreams?

If you woke up this morning, you should be chasing your dreams or setting yourself up to chase them. It pains me to see people get in the everyday groove of a “Dream Life.” Finish high school, go to college, get an office job, buy a new house, buy a new car, start a family, cash in your vacation time to pay off some of your credit card debt because you just needed a bigger television with the latest technology (“but it was on sale though”), pay only the interest on your student loans, complain you need a raise, day dream about when you retire and how great it’s going to be.

What about right now? Why not live your dreams now? Rent a small cheap apartment, drive a used car, take a three day vacation every quarter. Travel to a destination every month and explore.  Have one grand trip every year. You can do all of these things with kids. I know people who do.
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Get Free Speed: Upgrade Your Tires!

You know what makes tires fast? Smaller knobs and a tighter tread pattern. My intuition tells me so. That is why when I raced the Tour Divide, and almost every other mountain bike race, I used Kenda Small Block 8s. There are mountain bike style knobs on them, they are close together, they really don’t make much noise on the road, so they have to be the best.

I was wrong. (If you tell anyone this, I will be ruined). I was doing research for the new tires that I will be running on this years inaugural American Trail Race and I come across This website rates all types of tires from road to touring to mountain bike to fat bikes. If you want to read about how they test tires check out this link

Kendra Small Block 8 tires

The Kenda Small Block 8

The Small Blocks have a rolling resistance of 35.6 watts per tire at 25 PSI. With an average cyclist being able to put out around 200 watts for an all day effort, you are chewing up 35% of your power just in tire drag.

In come the Continental Race King RaceSports. At 25 PSI they have a rolling resistance of 22.4. That drops power loss in tire drag down to 22.5%, a huge energy saving just in tires.

Continental Race King tires

Continental Race Kings

So there is some food for thought the next time you are considering new tires.

Spend some dollars today, save some time tomorrow, and get some free speed out of the deal while you’re at it.

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